Rooted Productions

Ecclesiastes 4:12: “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”

By: Cassandra Armstrong

After years of dating, engagement, kids, outings, vacations, broken appliances, busted pipes, financial strain, loss, grief, and trauma, the spark in a marriage can fade. The excitement of intimacy is replaced by kids knocking on the door, bedtime accidents, and the exhaustion of long workdays and commutes. When work and commitments overshadow a husband and wife’s union before God, it can reveal an unnoticed idolatry of success, comfort, or status, quietly shaped by the world’s standards.

There was a point in my husband’s and my marriage when we subconsciously competed financially. Fresh out of the U.S. Navy, we found satisfaction in earning more than the other in what we called “the real world.” That competition distracted us from deeper wounds. We counted dollar bills instead of blessings, chasing social media worthy vacations and newer vehicles. We even spoke Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV), “…a cord of three strands is not quickly broken,” as we braided rope at our wedding, without ever truly braiding the Lord in.

At our lowest, marked by whiskey and wine-flavored evenings,we had gained weight, lost motivation to choose one another, and settled into simply existing together, while poorly coping. Our friendship remained, but our intimacy had quietly disappeared.

Until we gave it to God.

When my husband’s fingers slipped between mine and we bowed our heads to pray, the same fear and excitement of physical intimacy washed over us in a wave of reignited heat. There was something so vulnerable about sharing prayer. That is the one conversation you can hold and keep hidden in silence, while the recipient still receives the message. Unveiling personal prayer with my spouse felt more revealing than any moment of physical intimacy. There was not a distraction in that home that could break that bond, and the cord of three strands we had fastened felt so overwhelmingly strong.

We began to see the chaos of parenting through a joyful lens and our different roles within the family allowed us to let go of fiscalidols and choose ministry through the gifts God has allowed, while surrendering our plan to Him.

In that surrender, intimacy returned, renewed with health, respect, and desire, as we continue choosing one another through every broken window, frozen pipe, and sleepless night.We continue to be reminded that when we invite God into the center of our marriage, He strengthens what we could not hold together alone.